Hiccups
by aneko24
Summary: A collection of hiccups and hiccups one-shots! Zero and a blushing waitress, Yuuki got an admirer, what will happen next! light ZeroxYuuki.
1. Zero

_A/N- _

_disclaimer- I'm not Hino Matsuri-sensei, I don't own Vampire Knight_

_this is a one-shot that I wrote at midnight when I couldn't sleep because I had hiccups._

_Enjoy!_

**Hiccups**

Yuuki scraped the bottom of her fancy parfait cup with her spoon, getting out the very last of the yogurt. Zero was sitting across from her in the café's booth, sipping a soda and still a little irritated that he didn't get ramen. Again. "It was nice of the headmaster to let us go off the grounds and do some errands," Yuuki commented, sucking the last of the vanilla-berry taste off her spoon. Zero shrugged, and started to say something before putting a hand over his mouth, his shoulders jumping slightly.

"Zero?" Yuuki said, confused. "Are you laughing at me?" she asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Zero shook his head, still covering his mouth as his shoulders jumped again.

"Zero, what are you laughing at?!" Yuuki demanded, slamming her spoon down on the table. Other diners were starting to titter and stare.

Zero moved his hand, "I'm not lau- _hic!"_ Zero jumped slightly, covering his mouth again.

Yuuki started to giggle. "You've got the hiccups, Zero."

"Do no- _hic!"_ Yuuki giggled louder. Zero kept hiccuping loudly as Yuuki laughed hysterically.

"Hold... your breath... ten seconds... while drinking," she gasped between laughing spells, shoving over her glass of water. Zero glared, hiccuped, and downed the rest of the water in the glass. One, two, three... he got all the way to seven before hiccuping so powerfully that Yuuki was sprayed with water across the table. She could barely breathe for laughing at that point.

"Excuse me for intruding, but I couldn't help noticing that you've got a bit of a hiccup situation," an elderly lady in the booth behind Zero said in a loud whisper, as if talking to a four-year-old. She was turned all the way around in her seat, looking over the booth while her husband looked away. "Standing on your head for twenty seconds is supposed to work _wonders_," she said in a sagely voice.

"I've heard that too," a waitress said. Yuuki and Zero jumped slightly, they hadn't noticed the young waitress standing there with a rag, obviously to clean up the water than Zero had spewed everywhere.

"C'mon Zero, let's try it!" Yuuki said persuasively.

"No wa- _hic!_" Zero said.

"Please!" Yuuki begged. "You'd ruin your image as scary guy with the Day Class if you come back from town with hiccups!" she added.

"No- _hic!_ Fine! _Hic!_" Zero said, standing. He pulled off his jacket and tucked in his shirt, and with a glare at Yuuki went into a handstand.

"That's the spirit!" Yuuki cheered.

"_Hic!"_ Zero wobbled as he hiccuped, and Yuuki jumped up, grabbing his ankles to keep him from tipping over.

By now several diners were staring at the strange sight; a tall, rather intimidating boy with hiccups standing on his head, while a worried-looking girl held him stable, and a nosy old lady, and a pretty waitress watched.

"Hold your breath!" the elderly lady warned. Zero shot Yuuki a look-of-death, but obliged. A few seconds passed, then _hic! _and he almost toppled over again, but again Yuuki held him upright.

"Pudding!" the young waitress exclaimed, snapping her fingers. "You have to eat pudding. I'll get some, on the house," she said, rushing away.

"No way _hic! _am I _hic! _eating pudding _hic!_ while up side _hic!_ down!" Zero snarled at Yuuki.

"I don't think you have a choice," she said solemnly. "These women are serious about getting rid of your hiccups."

The waitress came back swiftly, flushed with excitement, carrying a small cup of pudding. "Can you balance on one hand of do you need someone to help with the pudding?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm fine _hic!_ on one arm," Zero grunted, shifting to his left while Yuuki held his ankles steady.

The waitress looked extremely disappointed as she set down the pudding within reach. Zero picked up the spoon out of the pudding, dripping some onto the floor as he ate the pudding at hyper-speed. Yuuki was amazed that he didn't choke, although he did flick particles of pudding onto the floor, his hand, and Yuuki's shoes.

Sure enough, the hiccups started to slow after he got about half way through the cup of pudding. By the time he had finished, the hiccups had subsided entirely. As Zero righted himself back into a standing position, flicking pudding off his hands, Yuuki turned to the women, "How did you know that upside down pudding eating would work?" she asked, curious and amazed. Zero looked curious as well, buttoning up his coat, face still flushed from the blood rushing to his head.

The women exchanged a glance.

"Seven-year-old brother," the waitress said, apologetically.

"Five-year-old grandson!" the elderly lady said cheerfully.

"The best way to _really_ get rid of hiccups..."

"Is just to wait them out!" the elderly lady finished, still cheerful.

Zero paused while buttoning his coat, "What... did... you... say?" he said slowly, getting angry. "Did I do all of that for _nothing?!_"

"Yup!" the older lady said, remarkable cheerful. The waitress blushed.

"It was way more fun to watch!" the waitress gushed.

"C'mon Yuuki," Zero said, grabbing her arm and pulling her away angrily. She didn't move, eyes wide. "Yuuki...?"

"_Hic!_"


	2. Yuuki

_A/N_

_I can't believe I'm writing another one -.-' _

_I couldn't sleep... again... so I wrote another one-shot.... -.-''_

_hope you like it..._

**Hiccups: the Sequel **

"And so, Hitler was overall a very, very bad man," the teacher said, slapping shut the teachers' addition text book, effectively ending the most boring World War II lecture since World War II.

"But Hitler was insane! Like, certifiably. Doesn't that mean it could have been a birth defect or autism or something like that?" a girl with curly red hair and freckles asked, her hand shooting into the air and almost knocking off her black-framed glasses.

"Mayu-chan, I'm sure we'd all _love_ to hear more about your _fascinating_ theories on Hitler's mental issues, but I've got a class to teach," the teacher said, bored out of her mind. "And what's in here," she said, holding up the textbook, "Is what's on your final exam."

As Mayu retorted back about her theories and the teacher responded again, blowing it into a full argument, Cross Yuuki was in the fifth row beside her best friend and roommate, Yori. Yuuki was also asleep. Again.

"Yuuki-chan... Yuuki-chan..." Yori said, shaking her friend's shoulder lightly. Yuuki woke with a start, peeling her cheek from the slightly glossy page of her textbook.

"Huh?" she said, looking around. "Oh, Yori-chan, it's just you," she said, sighing and leaning back in her seat. "I thought Takai-sensei had called on me again."

Yori sighed. "She's arguing with Mayu-san again," Yori said, filling in her friend on what she'd missed. "Lecture was on Hitler. Main idea: he was evil."

"Alri-," Yuuki yawned in the middle of her word. Her voice caught a little as the air was cut off, then rerouted.

"You need to get more sleep," Yori murmured.

"I know, it's just- _hic!" _Yuuki's hand flew over her mouth as a rather loud hiccup pierced her sentence.

Yori giggled slightly as Takai-sensei, Mayu, and the rest of the class turned to Yuuki.

"Something wrong, Yuuki-san?" Takai-sensei inquired, noting how Yuuki was now blushing scarlet in addition to her deer-in-headlights eyes and hand-over-mouth position.

"Fi- _hic!_" she said, a hiccup slipping out before Yuuki could stop it.

Giggly twitters permeated the room's former near-silence.

"Yuuki-san's got hiccups," Mayu giggled.

Yuuki blushed harder. "Do no- _hic!"_

More giggling and twittering.

"Want some water, Yuuki-san?" Takai-sensei asked lightly, trying not to laugh at her student's expression.

Yuuki nodded, hiccuping again through her hand. She rushed up to the water fountain, which was located at the very back of the lecture hall. She heard people turning in their seats to watch.

"Hold your breath, ten seconds!" Mayu called.

Yuuki nodded, her mouth now full of water, and counted to ten in her head easily. She swallowed the water and grinned, "It worked, Mayu-cha- _hic!"_

The entire class erupted into laughter.

"Does anyone know a better way to get rid of hiccups?" Takai-sensei called over the sound of her students, looking around.

"I do!" a guy said, standing. He grinned and pushed his bangs out of his eyes as his friends wolf-whistled and a certain Kiryuu Zero glared. "You've got to scare them out."

"That's right!" another girl said, standing as well.

"How -_hic!_- will that -_hic!_- help?" Yuuki asked. They both shrugged.

"Just does, I guess," the guy said, shrugging and sitting down. The girl did the same quickly.

"Boo!" someone shouted, jumping on Yuuki's shoulders from behind her.

Yuuki jumped. "Ack! H_ic!"_ she said in surprise. The entire class groaned, it hadn't worked.

"Well, we'd better just try to get her later," Takai-sensei called. "Everyone, back to your seats."

Yuuki made her way back to her seat beside Yori. "You aren't going to try to scare me, are you?" she whispered anxiously as the teacher started reading from Hitler's memoir, following her question with a loud _hic!_

"Wouldn't dream of it," Yori promised.

Class proceeded pretty much as normal, other than Yuuki's loud hiccups and the class-wide attempts (minus Yori and Zero) to scare them out of her. All attempts were completely random, from someone flickering the lights to an origami spider in her hair to muttering extremely long words. Yuuki in turn proved she was afraid of neither the dark nor spiders nor long words nor much else, really.

Then, something frightening to Yuuki did happen.

Zero had been sitting a few rows behind Yuuki, pretty much the only one in the room even pretending to listen to the lesson, when a girl sitting next to him got a paper cut. She apparently had a very low tolerance for pain, because as soon as the paper slit the skin of her finger, she started yelling. "MY ARM!! MY ARM!!! MY HAND MY ARM MY HAND MY ARM MY **FINGER!!!**" she shouted. Yuuki spun around in her seat, and saw the girl waving her hand frantically in front of Zero's face. A drop of dark red blood splattered onto his cheekbone.

"Kyoko-chan, really," Takai-sensei said, exasperated. "It's a paper cut, leave it alone and it'll be fine!"

Kyoko refused to listen though, waving her arms and flicking more blood onto Zero, seeming as insane as the person they were (supposed) to be studying.

Yuuki watched in horror, what would Zero do?! What would Zero be forced by his instincts to do?!

But Zero didn't react, merely wiping off the splatter of blood with his thumb and leaning away, giving Kyoko a look of loathing. She didn't notice, still screeching about her arm. After about a minute of rifling through her desk, Takai-sensei found a bandage, which she gave to Kyoko. "Thank you!!" she gushed, putting the bandage on her 'wound'.

Only after another four minutes did Yori notice something.

"Yuuki-chan, you're not hiccuping." It was true, Yuuki had been completely silent for the past five minutes, even since Kyoko had started streaming.

"I'm not!" Yuuki laughed happily.

"I suppose Kyoko-san's 'injury' really scared you," Yori teased.

Yuuki laughed again, knowing she couldn't tell Yori everything, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Yuuki-san, Yori-san, something you want to share?" Takai-sensei said sharply.

"Yuuki-chan's hiccups are gone!" Yori said.

"That's great!" Mayu and the guy who had given the idea said.

"Wonderful, Yuuki-san," Takai-sensei said, bored with it already. "Now as I was saying- _hic!"_

Silence.

Then, the entire class erupted into laughter, Yuuki and Yori the loudest.


End file.
